Don't play cheap with your heart.

She morphed into The Wicked Witch of the West.

2011-06-06T17:47:00.000+08:00

Right now at this moment, I need a place to stay because I can't take it living with sickening & unmannered people (and children!) With the exception of my step-sister, step-dad & my mum. Besides, I've never felt ''as one'' with them except for some of the times. Kau nak cakap aku ni tak betul? Dengar-dengar anak-anak kau sume ade cara?

So my eldest step-sister told me to leave because she can't take it anymore & I was like, ''By me leaving, she could live as per normal? I don't get it.'' Seriously, whatever to her. _|_ you plus your husband are very fucked up anyways.

And fyi, she has been calling guys from overseas every night behind her husband's back & her husband hasn't caught her. Yet. Is he stupid or dumb or just plain slow? I wouldn't want to curse her family but maybe it's true what they say - biological siblings & step-siblings are not the same.

I could just explode & cry right now but I won't waste a single mother-f*ckin' tear on someone who doesn't appreciate me. She + her husband + four children can just eff off from this world. I can't take it living with them. Never ever.

Plus I can't possibly go back to Dad's place. Not like this. I'll be back to square one. And I have to start all over again. Dad's naggings, Cruella De Vil's tauntings & more. Can I have a brain-washing power right now? Like please. I need a solution. But what?

All about you, my two friend(s).

2011-06-06T01:18:00.001+08:00

I have no idea what I should say now after our last phonecall. You said to me not to post anything on Facebook but actually, you did talk about me. I won't say how I found out. But I'm tired to entertain this childishness of yours. As long you're happy with your clubbing-working life, I'm fine with it because I'm having fun with my life although there has been some things that pull me down. Because I don't really give a damn about what you think of me. I'm just disappointed in you for saying that you didn't trust me since the first day we became best friends. Whatever, really. Now I know who my real friends are.

And dear boy, I know you have some problems with your ex but it's time to let go & erase all traces of the evil ex. He's threatening you & you must do something.

And it's officially 1 week & 5 days to the show.

Looking forward.

2011-05-31T06:33:00.000+08:00

Most of my friends asked me - ''What do you mean by 6 days more?'' Let me tell you this. Within 6 days more, I'm gonna open the stitches & that means I can shampoo that area. I hope it went well.

To those who wished & prayed for my speedy discovery, I thank you so much & I appreciate everyone of it. Love.

Whatever.

2011-05-30T19:42:00.000+08:00

I lost my stuff in the house & I don't make noise. It's not as if the other children are angels you know. Fine, make me the black sheep but I know one of your Angels took 2 of my necklaces & my VS Love Spell Shimmer Mist.

I don't care what people think about me now. I seriously don't. I hate it so much when the adults think Tall is innocent. He friggin' sold my nephew's PSP without his permission. Now who's the bad guy? On the other hand, I'm doing great despite my head being hit by a bottle by some matrep wannabe. Currently I'm pissed.

A Note To All My L♥vely Readers.

2011-05-22T12:49:00.002+08:00

I WON'T BE UPDATING MY BLOG UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

I'M CURRENTLY DESIGNING A NEW BLOGSKIN & VERY BUSY WITH LIFE, SO
DO CHECK BACK. ♥

♥, RADH ZVONAREVA ( :

A new enemy, great ol' lies.

2010-08-05T22:54:00.004+08:00

Have you ever like someone just because of their personality, but the person you like is impossible for you to get? And have you ever heard his lies? You spotted the lie, but you let it be? I know I have. It's difficult to explain why we choose to ignore, and not confront. Maybe it's because we don't want that particular someone to get hurt
And I have no idea why on earth I still love that person eventhough that particular person lied to me. Whatever. I'm trying to enlighten myself. Get out, seriously.

Insomnia.

2010-08-04T05:02:00.001+08:00

Finally back to blogging. I really got nothing to blog about. Oh wait, lately, I've been sleeping late. :(

That's all for now. Shall update about it more soon. I promise.

Bottle of Jake.

2010-06-30T17:56:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been drinking my heart out. My only way to get high & lately, I've got no mood too attend dance practices most prolly I'll blame the alcohol.

Everyone is busy with love while I'm right here blogging. Who cares anyway. Psycho, I don't if I should tell you what's been on my mind lately. I think I'm giving up on what I really love doing; dancing. I don't know why but I got the gut feeling. And the feeling is strong. Sorry guys.

Shasha's 18th.

2010-05-28T12:49:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to besty Shasha!

Belated Mum's Day.

2010-05-12T17:35:00.002+08:00

Last year, my mum was diagnosed with stroke & diabetes. Now, she's happily walking (slowly) with her walking stick. I thank all your prayers & Alhamdulilah she is getting better. Although she may not be there when I achieve something good, she's still my mother. Despite the old history of what happened to my family. I love her so much, although I don't say it. But I do feel it. If I were to have a wish, I would want to be by her side at this point of time. I love you, mum. I met her yesterday at Geylang to have dinner & man, she knows that I'm an avid foodie now. I only have one mother, and it's Madam Aini Bte Ridzwan. I'm so happy I got to see her both in my dreams & when I wake up. I will never stop praying for her. Like she never stop praying for me.

On the home side, it's okay. Going for NS medical check-up this coming friday. Wish me all the best. I wanna get police for my NS. Well, a boy can always hope, right?

My mother, is my everything.

I've been a very, very, very busy boy.

2010-05-03T17:06:00.002+08:00

I don't have time to Facebook, Tagged or Blog. So I'm taking this opportunity to at least write something. Blog's dead.

Guilty? For a kiss? And why?

2009-10-13T19:56:00.002+08:00

Someone was kissing someone. And then that someone felt guilty. Then I was so blank, why be guilty? I'm seriously lost. But I like that person. Then again, Alyv told me try not to give high hopes to love so you won't end up heart-broken. BAM! Right in your face.

Most people just started their love story. As for me, I just ended my love story. Nope, no happy endings. Happy endings happen only in Fairytales. This is reality. Keep on dreaming. And you'll achieve what you've ever dreamt of. Dreaming is okay, but don't forget to wake up & work for it.

Today was quite a good day. But Ms Piggy was so pissed just because I lost the green card. Shall not evaluate for further. It makes me wanna grow moles on my own.

Sex sells at Tagged. Go to mine! It's PCD-ish.

Dear G, I miss you already. It'll be 9 days, and you'll come back. You make me better everytime. And you know it.

If you can't beat them, join them.

2009-10-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

Met the Crazy 4 today (minus Della, of course. Member busy schooling.) Only me, Azee, Akin & Syuk. Talk about our performance last week, like what can be improved and all. We're having a performance this coming 18th, but then Miss Didi have not confirmed the place yet. Soon after, Azee went home to take care of his brother. Bromance, man. Hahahaha!

Syuk told us that he has this crush with a coursemate who is in the same group from his nursing attachment. Standard also, Akin pet-potted giving her advice & opinions to Syuk so that he won't get heart-broken, like he used to with his 4 exes. Akin said: "Get to know her as a friend before you start loving her." I say: "Bring her one day during our practice. And I'll give you the green light." I'm just kidding. If you like her, go ahead. But then, don't ever change when you have her, okay? Please? For the sake of Psycho. Hehe.

And as to Shark & Appuneneh, it's up to you guys if you wanna "merajuk" because don't think we'll "pujuk" okay. If that's your decision, then we have no say. Wakalah.

Akin got the job man. Gah, so I'm back to Donuts then. J.Co maybe? And most prolly, I'll meet Cliford, Stacey & Shahreel this weekend. To you know, enjoy. Jolly goodnight.

Old pixels, made.

2009-10-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

Everyone loves an old pixel made new. I don't know who editted this, anyway, thanks you kind soul. I found this editted photo in my Facebook. So Sarah's face looked as if she cannot wait to celebrate christmas. I look like a drunk after-party Paris Hilton with red hair. Indra the seducing model. Ain pulak, hmm, just came to shore from Bikini Bottom's Next Top Model. Hee hee!

To this someone: Yes, I'll find a way for us to make love. So who would be kind enough to sponsor a room for me? Pretty please? Condoms & lubrication. Got it.

Someone's a good kisser somehow...

2009-10-10T23:58:00.000+08:00

I was sleeping at Festival Park the other night, with Azri, Shikin, Shukrie, Della & Azroy since we had an overnight practice. After I was worn-out, I decided to hit the sack. To go to sleep or at least take a cat nap. And then a sweet dream came over me. I was somewhere with S and most prolly we were drunk. S leaned on my shoulder and we started smooching. And S is a good kisser man. I can almost feel it even after I woke up. Okay, stop it. Go wonder who's S.

And so, I won't be meeting PTC starting next week, since they already started school. Some has attachments, some regular school & some working. As for me, I'll find a job to satisfy my needs. (Maybe I can buy that uber cool laptop, no?)

Was chatting with someone (it's been awhile since we manja-manja online) before I was blogging. While chatting, I ate chicken pizza & I threw some & fed SH some. If only you were mine. Sigh.

I;m currently in a dilemma. To pull them back in, or not? I can't believe they said they're not interested! But then again, in life, you can't please everyone.

Dearest PVA,

You know I'm gonna make a comeback. Because Jasmine needs an art director. To tell you the truth, I'm sick of that position, but it's my forte. Just be prepared for this comeback kid. I'm gonna dominate the classroom. Outside of course.

It's already 3am now & Shikin still have not texted me. Tido kepe beb!

And to Psychotomic, you guys did well for the first performance. But Hizam, please D NOT cock up again for the next one like you did to this. Afterall, take this as a lesson to learn. We're all about to begin.

Muse.

2009-10-07T21:09:00.004+08:00

My latest favourite song, Ghetto Lullaby by Shontelle.

I'm turning into an insomniac!

The Telly.

2009-09-28T23:22:00.003+08:00

This year is super boring, man. But the tele has been giving me the thumbs up. Heroes, Singapore Idol, Smallville, America's Next Top Model, etc..

Prolly will plan PTC's raya outing pretty soon. So, Amira, can go your house or not?

R.I.P.: K618i 2005-2009.

2009-09-20T10:07:00.003+08:00

And I dropped my phone inside the deep waters in reservoir. I miss him so much. *sob sob*

So, for this Christmas/Hari Raya, I so want a new phone. Anyway, I'll update you guys on my new phone number pretty soon. Yeah, I lost all the contacts. Golly.

By the time you read this, the phone prolly had moss & algae on it. Most probably been swallowed by gigantic fishes.

KABOOM!

2009-09-04T10:27:00.000+08:00

Out of school, will be joining a new course next year, God willing. I'm not gonna be the drop-out kids who hang out under the void deck & cause a nuisance. Even if I am gonna hang out, I'll go for dance practice with Dearest People.

So back to life, sort of miss classmates.

I'll be back, soon before you can say hoo-ha

2 X 5 = 10.

2009-08-26T12:13:00.002+08:00

Gosh, mathematics.

Crestfallen? Yes!

2009-08-04T13:17:00.002+08:00

So it's the moment of truth. I was fined $30 for smoking after Chapter 5 that day.

Firstly, I don't have to pay, now they said they have to.
Who cares. I'll pay. Sheesh.

Great, I was disappointed again. This time, is someone whom I love, alot. And to think that I was so foolish to fall for the stupid sugar-topped words you sent.

"You don't know what's love, until someone breaks your heart" - Megan Fox

Read that in a magazine, I guess she's right. Anyway, I can & I repeat, I
can get over you in a snap of my fingers.

Anyway, I bought this waffle near my place, and it costs $1.70 for chocolate waffle when it's only $1.10 in my school's cafe. I bought it on impulse, as I was hungry. But I said to the 60 cents more expensive waffle: "We'll see who will be begging to buy you. Who knows, in a pasar malam, you're sold for only 80 cents. Hah!"

But then again, the waffle is not as nice as the one in school. Lesson learnt: NEVER BUY WAFFLES ON IMPULSE!

So-called sponsored by 7-Eleven, Singapore Flyer (Location)

"Nenek dah tak jual keropok. Murukku lah, terus kite gossip-gossip. Nenek dulu minah rep. Jage block yang ade kedai kopi tu. Meh nenek ceritakan macam mane nenek jumpe datuk kau."

Rad as Petomyak Bte Petomprek

Alyv Vogue as Nek Timah Vogue

Ain as Nana

Yana as Gayah

5 more days now.
I miss my cucu-s.

Compromise.

2009-07-29T12:33:00.002+08:00

I think I've made my choice. It's better that way. I'm gonna' work, shut her mouth, if that makes her happy.

Goodness, I'm living under one roof with a bitch from hell! If there is, any other way I could ward her off, is a magical charm. Oh goodness. I'm off to the voodoo shop.

No wait, I'm not that heartless.

I'm so not a gold-digger.

2009-07-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

100% single models. Last day today.

I'm contented! Can't wait for the after-party man. Can I bring you to the party? I need a date, seriously.

Rad's an Anti-Gun.

2009-07-21T23:58:00.001+08:00

Okay, so I was so mean to BTMW just now during NDP. But what the heck, he deserves it for being a prick. He even dares to he's effing innocent. Come on, do you even know what's the meaning?

It's also scientifically proven, I really love reading about politics. Intellectual demon inside.

And it's set! This saturday, my Kings & Queens are sedated. I miss you guys already!

Ich liebe es, E & J!

I'm lovin' it, E & J!

Sucker bet.

2009-07-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

Rad & Nad

Rad & Zairi

Farah & Rad

Went shopping to satisfy the shopaholic in me. Here goes:

Baby Aqua Lenses (Check)
Replenish Solution (Check)
Backpack (Check)
*Cigarettes (Check)
Shoes
Perfume (Check)

*Enough to last me through the week, that is.

So, I've heard rumors about me & Schmuck in NDP. The worst part, I
heard it from your mouth, dicklessboy. C'mon, you're just jealous because
he (your ex-boyfriend) didn't contact you but me. Why? Are you jealous? I must
admit, the way you tell your tattletales to Zairi is very convincing. Of
course he'll believe you, fatty. Wait a minute, Zairi doesn't believe you
at all. And telling Farhan to check my messages, is way to medieval. Grow a dick, for goodness sake!
Please, I outwitted you. Desperate, fucking prickhead! Malas aku nak
layan eh orang mcm gini. Yang nak perhatian orang.

Sorry for the foul language. Usually I'm nice. *laughs*

Sweet kan? Sweet kan?!

Btw, Indra, we must catch up with each other alright?

All is not lost.

2009-07-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

God, fatigue! Just came back from NDP NE 2. So I'll post a quote. And a huge thank you-s to those who wished (last minutes, belated-s & advanced). I thank you all. May God bless you kind souls.

Don't contemplate yourself, you're all you've got.

Goodnight.

Scarletfever is back.

2009-07-14T13:25:00.003+08:00

Meet Maryam. My gossip babe. One of the Gossip Folks in NDP. I miss her to the max la. The good news, this Thursday, there's a practice for NDP at The Floating Platform. Can't wait because... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! It's not a big deal for me, but it's more like a reunion because I'm meeting the 30T peeps on that day. Can't wait!

Sorry boys, this girl is taken. Just wait. Queue on the line.

Maryam: Eh, kau tak nak tukar?

Me: Tukar ape siak?

Maryam: Tukar rokok. Ni rokok aku tak isap ah.

Me: Huh? But it's menthol.

Maryam: Ye tak ye eh. Hahaha!

She's the man, man! I miss her alot. Including Ish, Sarah, Indra, Farah D, Zairi, Didi, Fiqah, Adlynn, Rin, Rizal, Sapool & Qayyum. I miss you guys like a truckloads of ice-cream. They want a show, we'll give the show! (Considering it's not raining heavily, that is.)

Scheldule is pretty tight this week. Maklumlah, turning 17 soon. Shikin was like, "Baru masok 17 pe? Whatever it is I'm older than you! Muahahaha!".

P.s: Being young is better than old, Shikin. Bluek!

Of house chores that I procrastinate to do.

2009-07-13T17:10:00.006+08:00

Reasons being:

It's not that I'm a potato couch; I am afterall, quite hardworking in nature. If you give me a choice on a mop or a PSP, I can pick up the PSP any other day. Sheesh.
There's nothing to clean in my room. Other than cat's fur scattered. That's why I hate to have a black top. The fur sticks!
I'm pretty busy with NDP.
And busy reading this awesome book below.

Patrick Redmond is my new favourite author. Hoorah!

NDP last Saturday was a blast with the others. To Sarah, I have something to share with you this Saturday. You'll be the first to know.

It's 3 more days to Harry Potter. I'm so watching it with peeps. More than 5 times if possible!

Yeah, maybe I should give up that friendship. Sure, of course I do. What's with people hate tagging, really? Just delete the hate-tag, live life. Frilly _____ squat. Hahahaha! Remember when you're just a tiny, little nobody? Who asked me where can you buy skinny jeans? Omg, remembering that surely makes me laugh. What a prick you are back then. Get it, prick?

Monster versus Cockroaches.

2009-07-09T09:04:00.002+08:00

This is it, for Project Management, I'm choosing Malacca for its rich culture, myths. legends & taboo.

Love.

2009-07-07T13:18:00.001+08:00

Only the weak fall in love. The strong survives on their own.

Yes, I got nothing to update. But I really am looking forward to this weekend. YOWZA!

Summer!

2009-06-12T15:23:00.003+08:00

Don't get burned! SPF 45 or more is needed!

So far, June has been a great month. Minus the heart-breaking moment I had when I found out someone was unfaithful. Screw that, I'm moving on. I was pretty broken half-way, but I, myself, must put myself together. They say if love comes around & it knocks you down, get back up & sweep that love-dust away.

My chums. Love!

It's so not my Friday.

2009-06-05T15:48:00.003+08:00

Exams are finally over. Can't believe I almost gave up on this course due to some problems. Yes, I was pretty disappointed in myself for failing DPH coffeebook. I was aiming at least a C. But I got a D. Guess DPH is not my forte, only VP1. Screw that.

Congratulations to Mira's group for the funny film. I thought The Infecters will receive a earful of bad remarks. But thanks to the editors, we did well. It's so unbelievable. On the homeside, it's not as peaceful as I thought. I need a get-away. And fast. It's just in that I'll have an epic fail for COG. Next on my activity list, epic dancing. I need it to ward off the bad-stress-aura.

I fell in love with VP! (To think it's the first module I hated first.)

Emma, get well soon alright? I'm so sorry. We shouldn't have climbed that. Super sorry!

It's official. It's not my Friday today. Not Agi's. Not Stacey's. Not Shahreel's. Not Emma's. It's just not. It's one of the worst Fridays I've ever had in 6 months.

Prepare to get eye-sore for the rest of May. (Read: Online Exam)

2009-05-29T10:44:00.003+08:00

Done with everything. The next thing I need is, breakfast. I'm having my exam week next week, so I wish all DAVP-s all the best for the online test. Study hard okay. The least is, we don't have to eat paper for the rest of May. Just read & memorize the notes.

I really need a big break now. I swear.

The Case of Me Vs. The Sun.

2009-05-28T13:27:00.002+08:00

At the home front, things have been abit more peaceful.

At the school side, Miss Piggy is hanging around people. Though she has never offended me directly, (her lack ofknowing how to change the aperture for DSLR and not cleaning up after herself aside) the neglect she subjects her studies to and the verbal abuse she hurls at her classmates have been difficult and painful to watch. So I'm glad she's gone leaving her Darth Vade haircut. Even though we know its only for awhile.

So, have your fun Ms P! Don't come back! Lately, I've been spraying phantom fire extingushers towards the sun. It's so friggin' hot. I should kick up a storm soon. Oh well.

Finally! I finished my DPH coffeebook. Fashion? I'm doing tragicomipastoral, Belief. Go figure!

Turning tables all night.

2009-05-24T13:14:00.000+08:00

Life's pretty shagged lately. With DPH final project due date around the corner. Killer instincts are telling me there's chances I'm retaking the module because I missed the class test & I really need the marks for the test so I'll pass. Primaboy gets screwed in school. :O It's nothing new really. & I strictly wanna go dance this week, and there's nothing gonna stop me. Unless Fatcat brought me to shopping that is.

Be my DJ tonight.
Won't you come n save my life?

Growing pains.

2009-05-21T12:44:00.003+08:00

My head felt as if it's gonna drop soon, due to ultra-headaches & ulcered throat. I can barely turn my head to my left & right. I have to turn my whole body now. Swallowing food is more of a torture now & its been 3 days straight with these. I should get it checked asap.

During my 2 days of not attending school, I missed my DPH class test (da irony). Went inside Co-op Shop & saw they started selling Kinder Bueno White! Sadly, due to the terms above, I can't devour on those stuff.

Maybe I'm not looking hard enough? So what, I'm drunk.

Red + White = Pink.

2009-05-15T07:10:00.003+08:00

Now who said I'm not politically aware? Watched this during one of the lectures in VP. It's pretty funny how humans are not free from discriminations.

Must be wondering why I'm up so early today. Well, Stacey, Shahreel & I are at Jonathan's place for a sleepover/VP1 meet. (Read: shooting this weekend)

Shoot, I got DPH phase test.

Fantasy Ride.

2009-05-14T12:40:00.004+08:00

Gosh the trip sucked. I kept dreaming about the ones I'm closed with. Classmates, Lepak Crew, Detonation.. And it's friggin' ironic. I want Fyfe's photoshoot photo la.

I need a hair cut. An exotic one at least.

Bloody hell it's not a big deal. As if watching PCD perform here & a new hair cut is a big deal. 4 billion people have hair cuts every week. What's the different with yours? What attitude. Boo.

I did well, I guess.

2009-05-08T13:33:00.002+08:00

"He's such a stuck-up, Rad."

That was the remark Fyfe gave me when he met Mumble. Prolly he'll fail me purposely, just because I didn't know the slayer is not working. Who cares. Fyfe looked a little zombie-ish today. It is definitely the look I'm going for. Sadly, the time for my shoot finished when I actually got the hang of it.

Well, Fyfe & I were too distracted cause' we can't be ourselves in there. Another failure for me, I guess.

Yes, I totally agree with Fyfe that Mumble is not only pain to the ears. But eyes too.

Get a clue already. Sheesh.

Proudest moments.

2009-05-07T02:22:00.003+08:00

With want for great things, comes great responsibility. With catch phrases like that, I doubt movies will sell. Being sensible is just so mundane.

I'll start dancing again today. That's what I said yesterday. And the day before. But I still have yet to go.

Procrastinators. Leaders of Tomorrow. I think I'll have that as a T-shirt slogan.

It's thunderstorming outside. Rain is usually a good sign. Maybe I won't burn the flat down cooking my own lunch today.

I think that Dad knows I'm falling.

But he doesn't say a thing.

Phantom weights on my shoulder.

2009-05-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

Friggin' need a job asap. Thank goodness Shahreel & Stacey wants me to work with her aunt, who's the manager of Explorer Kids. Why not?
VP1 Project 2 is engaged. Current mission: Find props, after script is done.
DPH coffeebook. Theme: Wet.
Personal Demons get stronger everyday.

And I just have to go for lecture tomorrow. No morning DPH for me. *poof!*

Out of the bluest sky, lightning strikes.

2009-05-05T10:53:00.002+08:00

Stop it. The way you talk, makes me wanna puke. I'm immune. It's not my fault if you're not happy with me. Get a life. Or buy one at eBay. Or Google "How to Get a Life for Dummies". Publish one if you have to.

Listen people, if you're being nagged to (by parents or whoever), the best way to avoid the noises (whatever you call it) is to listen to your pint sized music player & your ear stuffed with that earpiece. Trust me. The feeling is therapeutic.

Matriculation: VP1 2nd Project.

2009-04-28T20:30:00.000+08:00

Congrats to fellow directors:

Khairul, Guan Rong, Sean, Clifford, Emma, Jasmine, Cindy, Shah, Eric, Ming Jie, Hui Min & Ariff.

I wish you all the best. Anyone needs an Art Director, do approach me.

Sayang dudes & babes aku.

Ma's Golden-third birthday.

2009-04-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

It's Mummy dearest's golden-third (53rd) birthday.
Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki & sihat selalu.

X-Men fever is soooooooooo in lah.

Needs a movie date.

2009-04-24T12:41:00.002+08:00

For X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Whoever la, I don't care. Get back to me via text. There's Will.I.Am. in the movie. He's playing the role of JohnWraith, a teleporting mutant. It's a must watch people!

Remember tonight....

2009-04-23T12:54:00.006+08:00

Remember tonight for it is yet another new beginning for always.
A promise like a reward for persisting thru life another year together.
A proof of the solidarity of trust.
A belief in each other & the affirmation of love.
A decision to ignore or simply rise above the pain of the past.
A reminder of the covenant which combined our two souls and yet severed prior ties.
A celebration of the chance taken and the challenges that lie ahead.
For two will always be stronger then one, like a team braced against the tempest of the world.
And love will always be the guiding force in our lives.
For tonight is a mere formality.
Only a commemoration of feelings long held, promises made...

...in the sacred space of our hearts

Striving hard to get a quote.. Here's from Aina if I'm not wrong..

To love, is not to own.

ZOMG.

2009-04-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

Yes! Finally, I've already done my pitch. Kudos to Mira, Faruq, Hakim, Khairul, Cindy, San & whoever pitched (if your name's not here, I'm sorry) because all your pitches are atrociously amazing. Doubt so I can beat that.

Today is another friggin' fun day. I thought I saw El when I was chilling with Yati just now. She looks like her, but Yati said it's some random chinese girl. Oh well. If it's her, why didn't you turn when I call you?

P.s.: What an odd time to post?

Arty farty.

2009-04-21T11:59:00.004+08:00

I reached home at 10.55pm last night, because I was helping Ice Cream Waffles for their ad. And I was the manager for Jab (i.e. the one whose nails are painted black in the photo) for the day. After all the shooting, we went to East Point KFC to eat. Cheese melts are so nice. Shared whipped potato with Cindy, the lamest girl I've ever met, but we can click. Right?

Feast your eyes on him girls, while you can. Because he's taken. (BOO! I know right!)

Note: He's just here for a sight for sore eyes only. Not more than that. I swear.

So here I am, at MLC, chilling out with my best-buds. I can't wait to work with Ajir for the Coke Ad. What's at stake? $10,000. And Salwa Sally is my partner for the Ad. Double Duos for Art Director. Awesomeness.

Dad asked me why I keep on going home late these days. I said I had shooting after school. When the truth is, there's nothing to do at home besides watching TV.

I've been throwing phantom buckets of water through the phone to wake Suhaila up decently early enough to make sure she's not late for school. The verdict? She forgot to bring her shirt for SW, but brought Siti's stuff.

"Remember tonight for it is yet another new beginning for always..."

It's just in....

2009-04-20T11:09:00.003+08:00

Texted Mira when A class got the news. And it's just in that... PITCH WAS RESCHELDULED UNTIL WEDNESDAY! The catch? Mr Boi is still on course & he told Mr Nic to rescheldule it because he wants to see how we improve, that kinda thing. When Mira got the message, she passed her phone to classmate 1, and then Erwin grabbed that's how the news got spread out. My personal demon felt like pulling my hair. Because I have to do shot list. I was like, wtf, shot list?

The thing is, I'm 50:50 to be a director. I don't know if I can cope if I AM the director. Any advice?

Editted

And I wonder how fake people can be this days. Dude, everyone knows how you make friends. Impress, backstab & hop along to another victim. I'm through with you. The word *** disgusts me. You're like a bitch. But then again, it will be a disgrace to female dogs. There's no word in the dictionary that can describe you. You just wanna be all-that, but you know you can't. With this & that competing against you, you know you can't win. But why must you do all this? To get attention? From who? Your mistakes are all turning back on me. So what if I'm not in a crew. It's not as if it's crucial for every human being to join one. Yeah, I bad-mouthed my ex-crew, so what? At least I admit my mistakes (at the very last minute) because I can't bear to lie to the ones I love. You're a demon. A demon who's blood-thirsty for love & attention. No one deserves this. Note: If you're reading this readers, don't get offended. Unless it's you. This someone is close to me. He's my enemy now. I keep ny friends close, but my enemies closer. Someone give that guy a wake up call on where he's standing! I guess you won't change, at all.

However, I'm lucky enough some of the class A adviced me to stay away from that schmuck. Love you, Class A.

Human Antics.

2009-04-17T15:27:00.004+08:00

The only thing that humans know, second to lies. I made a list about this thing, called Human Antics.

Lies
Reasons
Excuses

Yeah, we're all forced to live like that because, we're all human. We have our own stereotypes. Be it selfish, stupid & whatever-have-you. I, myself, have an attitude. You all do. And yes, it's the time of the month where I redeem myself with dear readers to post long so ya'll be happy reading. Those 3 things, are something we all can't live without. BAM!

Someone asked me something. What I wanna be when I grow up? Most of you might prolly think I wanna be famous (i.e. according to PCD's no. 1 hit single). But no. I do wanna be famous. But before everything, I wanna be alive, before I be anything & achieve my dreams. Yet, I have to get my education done before I do so. So yeah, I wanna be me. Nothing can flourish without studies. But maybe, I can be wrong. Unless a miracle happens, that is.

I love red. I don't have to wear red to show my favourite colour. Who cares about what I like. Sheesh.

Truly, madly, deeply?
You couldn't be more wrong.
It's not worth it, girl.

Away.

2009-04-14T11:13:00.002+08:00

HIATUS.
for 1 week, or two.

I'll be away for awhile. Gonna be on a solo tour. (Read: most likely after the pitch is done.)

I'm praying uber hard that I won't be one of the directors. Or producers. It's friggin' hard work. Selfish? Nope. Not at all. I wanna be soundman. Or art director.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

I'm yours.

Do it well.

2009-04-13T09:54:00.003+08:00

Holidays are finally over, and I, obviously can't wait to go to school. Pitch for VP is done. I'll be doing documentary. Wish me all the best!

Mum's doing fine. Don't know when she'll be discharged because she's still doing therapy at the hospital. Get well soon.

Treble bass.

2009-04-06T15:02:00.001+08:00

That's how I describe my voice. Talking about voices, I love Miley Cyrus' voice. Sore, but nice. In a way.

I have a crush on you.

You minging minger!

2009-04-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

I already watched Emma's Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging DVD, and I must say, I rate it 3.5 stars. Because.. I prefer Wildchild to that movie. Wildchild is more like, the British version of Mean Girls.

Be grateful, minger. You don't realise what you have until it's gone.

Deal with it.

2009-03-16T16:16:00.002+08:00

If you think putting "what-the-f***" on Facebook, just to get attention from classmates, you're wrong girl. I'm just so bored so I posted this. Why not confront your group members? Wait, I hate your guts. I hate it as much as you think how selfish you are. (Eliz & class A, if you know who I'm talking about, keep it to yourself okay? =))

Rad hates your guts. Seriously. & Pa is getting anorexic from taking care of Ma, and I have to rush to somewhere after school.

& you asked for my candies.. *melts*

I'm done. My last week coming!

2009-03-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

It's official. My torturing (but fun) days of being an art director has just ended today, 5:29pm. I'm gonna miss the times we had fighting about what they should do, laugh when someone stumble upon something. It's finally over.

& Mum is doing just great.

Unexplainable truth.

2009-03-12T12:11:00.004+08:00

I can't remember the last time I was here. I can't put a finger on the exact term to describe how I'm feeling right now. Depressed? Most probably. Worried? Yeah, that must be it.

I called Mum last night to ask for cash she promised. I wasn't surprised, Along picked up my call. And she asked where I am now. She told me Mum's in hospital. I asked why, she said that Mum suffered a sickness, called stroke. When I reached her ward, it's like she doesn't recognize me, but she's trying hard to see who I am. I wanted to hug Along and tried holding by tears back. I succeed. But the good news is that, Mum could talk now. And I have never seen such a beauty in Mum when she sleeps. Despite her sickness, she's still the being that made me live my life until today. My siblings & I are just not ready to lose her yet.

Now that's Atieq Alien. My sister. My pal.

This makes me wonder. Is she actually made like that, or is it her time to suffer? Maybe not both. I'm despressed now that I felt as if someone reached out to my chest and pulled my vital organs. She's the reason I breathe. She's the reason I live. You have no idea what it feels like to sleep at night, worrying whether you'll see the ones you love go away. It's hard for me. But I'm standing still. I just decided not to tell my Dad yet. I want him to find out for me.

Truth is, I still love my Mother despite the fact I don't meet her everyday. That's her. Happy with her new husband.

Dear Allah Almighty,
please give my mother the strength to fight this. Amin.

Ponder over this: Is stroke curable?

The ironic life.

2009-03-06T10:53:00.003+08:00

How the hell this happen? How did I get there? Note to self: Must meet Val & Pul more man. I'm busy with school that I'm pulling my hairs. Okay, stop.

I'm in the mood to type a long post. And then, here goes.

People like me, pour the oil to the fire. True, but Detonation must not separate no matter what, unless one individual wants to. I may lose some people in life, but it's not the memories that matters. It's on how they help me in the past. You know who you are.

And it's pretty ironic on how I can ask people's number and the week after that, I'm already in love. What the hell, right? I wanna go danceworks 09 but there's shooting going on. Later, will be my time. Really.

Someone once told me:

"Hidup kite kan Dek, tak boleh hidung tinggi. Mesti selalu tolong orang. Mane tau, mungkin satu hari kite perlukan pertolongan orang lain. Jangan pernah lupa siape yang ajar."

True enough. But where did it all go? I am a good person now. I just know it. It's like a small instinct, you know what I mean. Sure, people can play these skirmish-backstabbing games, but they'll get retribution. So I shall not care about all these stupid games. The main thing is, I still have the ones who would still pick up my calls although they're busy. what am I thinking? You're not coming back.

Life's great. School eh? Okay lah, but need to pay attention more since my attendance is dropping.

Sigh. Ramai yang tunjuk, ramai yang ajar, tapi tak ramai yang mengerti.

Baby, I need protection.

Taken.

2009-03-05T13:02:00.002+08:00

Mood: Cranky at the software.

My weekends are taken away by the shooting for VP1, due to 2 actors backing out but the good thing is, Zurah, Imah & Fad is joining. Excited! With best wishes, I wish fellow dance crew taking part in DanceWorks 09' all the best. What? COG? I feel like giving up already. I lost my data while saving. Screw the computer I'm using man. Seriously.

Stupid module. Why on Earth must we need 3D? I know why, to make our lives
difficult. I don't hate the module. I hate the software. I saved the bloody
thing already, and it's gone like magic when I opened it!

But I'm happy, still.

Scream.

2009-03-02T08:43:00.003+08:00

The Bad News:
From Shareel to Emma (including me), got a big F for our computer graphics module.

The Good News:
I'm performing for Momentum (if I can catch up) & NDP 09', Fast Forward.

I'm still taking time to heal. But finally, I can say I'm officially over you. I'm doing just as good as you are. I wouldn't say I'm better than you (obviously I'm lying, right?) but as good as you. Get it? *laughs*

And it's 24 days to your birthday. Damn, so long or what..

Too young, to be left alone.

2009-02-24T12:32:00.003+08:00

We, each individual must not be alone. We need someone in life. There's alot, but unfortunately, you have to let go the ones who left. Although they didn't contact you, it's the memories that matters. Oh damn, if they matter that much, they would come back, don't you think?

I trusted in someone and that someone let
me down. But trust us an intrinsic part of love. Neither can flourish without
the other.

Got that phrase from a book I'm currently reading. It's very moral. I don't know who to dedicate it to. Sometimes, things happen that you don't expect. And you do things that you don't expect yourself to do, if that makes sense. And I didn't expect you to pick up my call. I'm crazy in love. Yay.

Some thoughts to keep you sane:

Misfortunes are opportunities wrapped in parcels.

Burn the flo!

2009-02-23T08:49:00.008+08:00

Recently, I've been learning a new genre of dance, Latin Funk. I didn't know it was my forte. Ms Celeste wanted to polish me in that, when I already have the Apsara fusion dance routine, Ms Jen's lyrical, Mr Cho's hip-hop routine plus the Phillipino choreographer's underground hip-hop routine. And to think I did 85% okay for all. I super cannot wait for May! Performing in RP's Momentum or whatever they call it. Oh, I'm taking elective dance module here in College East.

Ms Celeste told us to watch this movie, Burn the Floor & Take the Lead. They're both old movies but it's the only way we can practice the knee-swing & criss-cross step. Not any ordinary criss-cross, but the ones with the hands and legs thing.

Here are the list of movies I wanna watch this year. Some old, some new.

I need someone to drag me to the movies, violently. I wanna watch Watchmen so badly that I'm having dreams I'm a superhero. And it's just in: Emma wanted to drag me to watch Watchmen!

Tuang lah minyak tu banyak-banyak, terbakar nanti rumah.

P.s: COG is booooooooriiiiiiiiiiing! And talked to Kimmy on MSN to cognratulate him and the crew for MDIS (again). And rant about how hot (and i mean it, hot) it is, boring, etc., School, I meant.

Pixelated.

2009-02-19T12:24:00.002+08:00

It's the new millenium. Just a click away.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17284&id=1052892050&ref=mfref=mf

KRYPTONITE!

2009-02-18T10:35:00.005+08:00

Scream your lungs out and hopefully you choked with you own words, grown-up!

I'm on my assginment, shooting time and I'm bored. We're supposed to shoot architecture & structure but I don't know if these few pictures of mine are (Read: photos up some other day.). While my other classmates are outside (Changi Airport, most probably!) doing their assignments (and I expect awesome photos), I'm stuck alone in the school, with my pint-sized music gadget, Riccs.

"Don't wanna be lonely with some Clarke,
I wanna be Bonnie & Clyde.
You can try to save me from love,
But I rather have your chains & handcuffs.
Make me your prisoner.
Anywhere, but here.
I want the one with the kryptonite, tonight."

Lighten up, I got over you months ago.

For you, a month ago.

And you, weeks ago.

And another you, hours ago.

And I don't know how you look like now.

I just remember you looked like chipmunk.

For the last time I say this, I don't care.

2009-02-15T09:35:00.001+08:00

Yes, I don't care if you wanna hypnotise my dad with your witch words, go ahead. But don't you think calling me "stupid" is getting too old. I'm oblivious to being called that, because I know, I'm not. I would look for a job, if I wanna risk my life being tired 24/7. Been there, done that. And I myself, know that I'm not that type of person who works & school at the same time. You think I'm nothing like you nephews/nieces, so what? I don't care. I'm still me, I'm having more fun then them, worrying about money while people who are in poverty needs them, they save money. Why not donate it instead? I know why, because your side of the family is shamefully selfish, arrogant, big-headed and talk-as-if-they're-good-but-they're-not. So listen bitch, if you wanna mess with my dad's mind, fine to me. But think, that messy & run-down house is still my mum's & dad's property and please shut up when my brother is still paying the bills. All you do is nag, you should go out and play. Imagine waking up at 9AM, and she started what's she's best at: spotting my flaws and nag, nag, nag like an old hag. I dyed my hair black, woke up early and feed the cats before you both wake up. Sometimes I hope they see all that.

The bottom line: I totally hate that bitch-step-mother. So what she helped me last time? It's the past and it's her fault for believing me. I never did want her to trust me, at all costs. She's up for sale. Anyone interested? Guess not. And here's payback to all the misery you caused. I hope your nice-attitude nephews/nieces read this!

Note to readers: This is referred to that woman who lived under one roof with me. If you got offended, I'm so sorry. Really, it's for her, not anyone else.

Sui Generis.

2009-02-14T23:15:00.001+08:00

Goodbye ugly streaks of blonde and hello big, bold & beautiful black. It's really black, as in as black as tar. Black as a black coffee, black as Britney Spears' brunette score. Why, can't a boy fantasize? Now that entirely black, I can finally stop spraying black dye every morning I'm going to school. Oh, I got no Valentine's date today, but I have lots of people asking me. Like, Ben & Jerry's, Willy Wonka, Cadbury, Koko Krunch, Honey Star, etc., The best Valentine's date I've ever got in my entire teenage life. Talking about it makes me crave more.

Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Kinder Bueno or Cadbury Hazelnut Chocolate?
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Happy Friday the 13th, people.

2009-02-13T08:39:00.002+08:00

Superstitious, much? What can possibly happen on a beautiful Friday morning. Only Whites believe in these analogy. Not Asians. Not me.

Hazierah, I wanna go but there's no one I'm going with la.
And it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone,
you get what I mean?

I'm looking for 1 female teenager models,
who's height is acceptable, passion for modelling for my photography
assignment.

Note for those who're interested: Make-up will be provided
(I think) and do provide your own clothes (fashionably you).

The stars are the eyes of the dead.

It's official...

2009-02-11T11:38:00.003+08:00

That this effing week, is not mine. Seriously not mine.

I lost my one and only moving rubber wax. (It's not my money, my mum's and to think someone who actually steals it, is a moron who can't afford even a hairgel!)
Miss Act-Fierce scolded me for being late, because I overslept. (And following a major headache too.)
This fever ain't going anywhere.
I think I'm losing weight by the day.
I'm cranky towards everyone in school. (Maybe some, not all.)

I'm already praying hard that this stupid, screwed up week would end fast. But I'm having doubts that my weekends are gonna be mundane. Firstly, it's Valentine's Day. Golly, at least there's dance on Friday & Saturday and I cannot wait to meet Hana, Heikal, Hirzi, Darren, Lynn, Zura, Hanie, Imah, Lubainah, Nad etc., as they are the ones who brightens my Friday with a kick.

this is seriously killing me inside.

There's no true meaning to friends.
Friends are backstabbers.
Lovers are suckers.
The one I found are good friends.
And despite this stupid week I'm in, I should thank my lovely classmates
who always help me out everyday.

Inexcusably, selfish to Sui Generis.

2009-02-09T11:19:00.005+08:00

Rare occasion called for a rarer still overdrive in full strength.
And everybody was there.
The purpose was noble.
I should've been in school on Friday, but I was sleeping instead due to major headaches & algae & moss inside my nostrils (plus cactus prickles in my throat). 'Till today, it still exist. Dammit.

Faruq asked me why I attend school today, when there's a fever building up.

Him: Why you come school?
Me: Passion nye pasal.

Lesson learnt: Told you I have passion in DAVP! :P

Things to submit:

1) DPH Assignment 2
2) Pitch (The Redo Version)

No, not a procrastinator, but something like that.

TO CLASS 4C OF 2008!

It's not enough that we mess our own lives up the past 4 years. We always had to drag the rest of the gang into it. So where do we go from here? I miss you all already.

Reel dearest, your pitching is so R21 dude. But still, kinky. *winks*

"When so many are lonely, as seem to be lonely,
it would be inexcusably selfish.
to be lonely alone."

Conclusion: So who's gonna be alone this Valentine? I know I am.

Her slot.

2009-02-08T11:09:00.000+08:00

The good news?
I dreamt about you.
The bad news?
Of all people, why you're the one I'm okay with when the fact is, we're not
The pressure never stops.
The hatred never ends.
The thing I've learnt throughout this ordeal?
Ignore the past, flimsy & mushy phonecalls. Nobody calls to say hi.

I wouldn't wanna lose a sister like you, babe.

Unimaginable horrors happen.

Not only to bad people.

You can be self-sacrificing and shield your loved ones.

You could fight, beg or pray, and they still took you anyway.

It may seem fate played a random joke at our expense.

But to think about it, we already know nothing lasts forever.

Nobody lasts forever.

But hopefully, you won't choose isolation to stay guarded from grief.

Though eventually, we'll leave because we didn't measure up to your standards.

Or get thrown in jail.

Or die sooner or later.

But for as long as we are able, alive and kicking sumbody, I''ll never stop trying to be there for you.

Like I was for you tonight.

for someone who's still staying strong, although her future jeorpardise her.

A public apology for a public affair.

2009-02-05T13:05:00.002+08:00

And I shall start from 30T, my former crew. I shall not say my Ex-crew cause' they really teach me something, somehow. I also don't know if you guys were to read this, but if you do, please tag.

Sorry for everything. I wanted to pluck out my courage to apologize on that day but I just can't. For sure, I didn't really have a heart to be rude to Siti. I was envious of everything. I felt wasted. I am disappointed in myself for not really putting effort eventhough I say I did. I know I have too much pride. Too much that I'm turning into a monster that practically hurt or separate people. I'm really sorry.

I really am. For now, I wanna wish ya'll all the best for the competition and if you didn't win, it doesn't mean you people lost. It's all about having fun with each other. After all, you guys ARE family. :)

I cannot wait to overnight with PVA this weekend. And meeting Pris & Cass too!

I miss Cass & Pris!

2009-02-03T09:22:00.002+08:00

They were the ones who always laugh.
Omg. All the best to your future endeavours alright? Don't forget any of us. but you can forget Adil. Hahahaha!

Here I am in MLC. Can't believe I was early (again!). Thanks to my inaccurate timetable. Must update my timetable. Sports & wellness soon! Woohoo!

Because whatever I do, I do it with my heart and I don't do it half-way.

Feed on this, fornicators.

2009-02-01T20:32:00.002+08:00

Listen, I don't know if you're gonna read this or not, but I have enough. You don't have to prove it to me. Just prove it to your miserable life. Yes, I am rude. But that's just how I take my stand. If you're not happy with my words or actions, I advice you to stay away from my life. Why cry when there's tomorrow? The least is, I'm not that desperate to be in love. Maybe I am, but I don't know. I don't hate you. It's dislike. That's the word I'm looking for. I'll be lying if I say I'm still "okay" with you guys. What the fuck, this world isn't fair at all. Bonding? That's just bad art la. Wait, your sibling? This ass-hole (the one you talked about), is the one who introduced them to you people but Allah Almighty made them stay. He also can make them go away.

Also, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
You're just tricking your mind to hope for everything's not the same, but better. But the fact is, you are really hurting inside. Deeply, I know you still need me. I just know it, that's all. Don't worry, I forgive you for those filthy words you used against me. And get the facts right: You kicked me out. I didn't left. Remnants of mmyself is somewhere there. And wanna freeze me to death? With what? An ice-cube?

& to that slut who's not in any crew, you're so not in Rush's crew la for goodness sake. Asswipe. Don't say I'm the problem when you're not being modest about yourself.

Note to self: You have to stop this thing to prevent conflicts. But then again, siape yang makan cili, dier yang rase pedas. I don't care if you wanna prove it to me. But don't you think it's, what's the word? Erm, proud? Too proud.

Eat on this. Not happy? So?

Take a note.

2009-01-29T12:47:00.005+08:00

!@#$%^&*
It's what my keyboard does.
Fatigue. Exhaust.
I don't sleep in class anymore. Whoopee!

^{_{omg, you're so annoying man.}}

Sorry for the boring skin. I'm changing it by next week.

Confession.

2009-01-27T17:03:00.004+08:00

Damn, I'm left with VP1 assignment. Thank God.

If you think b*tching about people makes you feel good/gain more friends, be it. As long you don't do it to me or my friends.

I'm tired. I'm tired of wringing my brains to remember the jolly good times we used to have. Fine, I'm jealous and felt as if I wanna kill you guys one by one because you took someone whom I really wanna grow up with. Because I treat that person as my sibling. It's not your fault. It's not mine. It's just destiny, doing what it should. I have to accept this. Accept the fact that I no longer have a place in your heart. Don't just say your heart-s, I don't even have a place anywhere beside you. Hell yeah, I miss you. But there's nothing I can do about it. I used to be one of you, but for sure, if I cannot be found, it surely means that I don't wanna be found.

Brighten up, I have to move on although I dislike the situation I'm in. It's my choice, and my choice alone. And I don't hate you. Although sometimes, I do feel the hatred.

Who else I've got? *thinks*
I know. I got everything I ever wanted. I just need to open my eyes & heart to see who's there for me. I wanna get sedated today with Pul & A'an. Bring back those memories la guys.

At least I saw you today. We hugged. But somehow I wish we could fly to the stars, where we'll be alone. Our fingers intertwine, eyes staring gorgeously to each other.. Don't let go. How am I being doing? Doing just fine. Living without worries. Can I not let you go the next time?

In a verge.

2009-01-23T07:47:00.003+08:00

Was having double thoughts on things lately.

Should I stay in Class A?

Advantage:

1) I know most of the people there.
2) Clicking well.

Disadvantage:

1) Will sleep on Mr Nic's class due to headaches & late night sleeps.
2) Hakim & Farah will not be there.
3) I'm leaving Siti alone.
4) I broke Stein's promise.
5) Gonna miss Stacie & Emma's craziness.

Going to class B?

Advantage:

1) Be in the same class as Phat, Er-hem!, Azirah & Delima.
2) Classes are vava-voom. Lighter than the one I'm in now.

Disadvantage:

1) Must socialise again.

I may be on the verge now. But I'm holding on. My decision is final.

Tepuk dada, tanye selera oi...
But I'll see if I can cope things next week, if not, I'll just move on.

Let this be untitled.

2009-01-22T19:03:00.002+08:00

Cause' I'm tired of brainstorming for titles.

I should've went to school, but I'm just tired. I tried asking myself why. But it's just that I did not have enough sleep because of things around me. It can't be helped. I'm tired of sneaking in that house. I'm tired of being sedated when I have a hell of an assignments. Luckily, I've done VP1 & it's left with the DPH assignments. Effing tell me where to take landscape of Singapore? And moving vehicles or humans? I don't know. I need help. Omg, I didn't went school again.

I'm almost done with my DPH assignment!

My red & scarlet affair.

2009-01-12T18:09:00.006+08:00

Been eyeing this for months!

I don't care who has it, I want it! Went window-shopping with fellow Scarlet7 just now at Tampines Mall & Century Square during lunch. Due to somehow-the-cafeterias-are-flooded-with-hungry-mobs-of-students-plus-lecturers, we decided to eat out. Oh, I had my all-time favourite, Fish Ball Noodle Dry with Xtra chilli padi. After that, Stacie, Emma, Man, Siti, Farah, Amy & Me are effing lazy to go back to school for Nic's lesson. Okay, we have Monday Blues. But at least we don't suffer the whole week.

This was taken just now at the auditorium. Taken by lovely Chairperson, plus cute-when-she-says-wassupman, we all love your super-adorable behaviour. Thank you!

Pathetic fallacy: I hope this is the first & the last time we're skipping His class. Pray hard people. You guys may never know he might ask us where we went. Omg, we're busted. I'm praying hard we don't get scolded in front of the class. *whimper* To those who passed O levels, congratz & to those who fail, do not prove to others that it's a failure but show how that failure can be improved. Weird how this post is all red. Dum, dum, dum..

Bazaar.

2009-01-11T22:47:00.001+08:00

Yes, Big Brother Han teaches his protegé, Khairul Syafeeq. Damn, I'm tired. Thanks Han for the "McDelivery". Beef is good, dude. It's just that Pul doesn't know how to taste.

Our black & white affair.

2009-01-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

BFF & Han went shopping at Topman, Zara and God-knows-what. But the theme is black & white. For once I wear those two neutral shades. Well, we all did have fun after the competition, which we 3 plus the other 3 (Ilah, Yati & Aina) turned out to be late. Sorry, dancers!

Wan: Why is the train so slow? I wanna reach Pasir Ris asap!
Ilah: Whatever. Rad's taking a picture of us Wan! I can't do anything but smile! Ah!

Reunion nampak, reunion nampak!

The irony of asterisks.

2009-01-09T21:02:00.002+08:00

To those who doesn't get what I meant as asterisks, it's this ironic symbol you use when typing the mushy-kissing smiley. Smiley 101 For Dummies, press shift + 8. (*)

I just onlined today, and Someone, told me that the Guest-of-Honour cannot make it to tomorrow's competition. As usual, I was saying, so? What does that gotta' do to me. But then again, I suspected that Buttercup Kemp was referring to himself. But I didn't put my guts down, and I was right. Follow up the conversation:

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
*pinches*

^^^^^^^^^^^ <.>RuGRaTzzzxxxx<.> ----[c=11]K[/c][c=6]e[/c][c=4]m[/c][c=5]P[/c]---- ______ says:
ouch!

^^^^^^^^^^^ <.>RuGRaTzzzxxxx<.> ----[c=11]K[/c][c=6]e[/c][c=4]m[/c][c=5]P[/c]---- ______ says:
LOL.

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
*steps your throat till' our eye balls pop out*

^^^^^^^^^^^ <.>RuGRaTzzzxxxx<.> ----[c=11]K[/c][c=6]e[/c][c=4]m[/c][c=5]P[/c]---- ______says:
grab my eyeballs, put it back, pulls that thing in between ur thigh .

^^^^^^^^^^^ <.>RuGRaTzzzxxxx<.> ----[c=11]K[/c][c=6]e[/c][c=4]m[/c][c=5]P[/c]---- ______ says:
hehehe!

^^^^^^^^^^^ <.>RuGRaTzzzxxxx<.> ----[c=11]K[/c][c=6]e[/c][c=4]m[/c][c=5]P[/c]---- ______ says:
hahaha

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
ooh,

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
horny.

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
hahaha!

RADT school. scarlet. spins. school. scarlet. says:
pulls your underwear.

End. I shall not post anymore, because Buttercup Kemp told me someone copied his Kimp name and the guy's from his school. It only means one thing dude, you're an effing good name trend-setter.

Something happened earlier, but I'm not gonna list it down here. Cause' it's kinda private thing. And it's hard for me to explain.

Lighten up, the world's not gonna stop just because I'm not able to dance. But this isn't gonna stop me from dancing. To Rush, thanks for comforting me, it really help though. Gosh, you moved me inside-out. He's a motivated dancer, speaker etc., And most likely wishes to be like him.

I asked BFF something. He answered something.

Me: "What does it mean when you're thinking of someone 24/7?"
BFF: "It means you're worried sick about the someone. Most probably love-strucked. Gosh Rad, I can't believe it. You're actually falling in love!"
Me: "Shut up, bitch."

My. First. Day. Of. School.

2009-01-07T19:11:00.006+08:00

@ School today...

Farah, Hakim, Siti & Rad. Aka The Semangats.

The "ones" with semangat but in the end, we're effing sleepy listening to lectures. By the time it's March, I think our eyebags are so big that you can store your lecture notes in them. I can't wait to see you guys tomorrow man. After every class, kecoh nak mampos. But I really love PV0901A to the max, since you guys got along well. Well, most of the time.

Also, see familiar faces. Imah, Raimi, Fad, Hanie, Nab & Nad. Oh, Ashry also. I was pathetically shocked when I found out Hanie is taking office skills when she's supposed to take F&B.

Note to self: Neutralize contact lenses asap.

{//*editted}
- due to something I felt in the heart, it says to comfort her at all costs. Whatever it is, she's still my crewmate. & I know she'll survive whatever she's in, eventually. If she helps herself, that is. Which I know she would.

I sent Bea this at Fster. I know it's the old Facebook, who cares. I know I don't.

i miss you babe.
):
*i loike* hahahahahaha!
take care k. it may seemed that your life is in a mess, it's up to you to clean it up although some of the mess, u practically didn't cause it.

when you fall, only you can pick yourself up.
not anyone because they're already up in front.
you're the one who's stuck behind. I really hope u get the message I'm trying to convey here.

Jgn lupe dgn Allah. Doa & sembahyang adalah satu2nya pertolongan yang kau ade sekarang. it's never too late k, Bia? :)

smile when the sky is crying!

"If you fall for something - you'll fall for anything." ~ Tyra Banks.

My so-called utopia.

2009-01-05T21:41:00.002+08:00

Imagine you wake up early in the morning, and able to see the clear blue sky. Once you get out of the house, there's no worries about life since life itself is enjoying the same scenery. Waiting for the bus is never a pain, because you're entertained by the people around you who never judge you on how you look. The handicapped people seemed perfect, although their disabilities are their barrier to do normal stuff, but we all know, deep inside is how we all wish that the world would be peaceful & happy. There's also no money issues. Things are always normal there. When you meet someone you really like, there's a glittering matrix to actually show that he/she is the one.

Lighten up. These are just my point of view how the world should really look like. Wear those clothes back. There's no use of tanning. Take off those shades. See the world in different perception. Am I dreaming?

For how long must I keep this, but I know I like you. In practical, I passed looking through you by the eyes. In theory, failed as ever, since I got my lazy-to-fall-in-love-bug biting me everyday. I've been at the back for far too long. Sheesh.

Home. What is it actually? Tired of back-packing & fake smiles. Freaking tired. Keep your coins. I want change.

Listen babe, I never actually wanted you to get over him. But since you already are. Congratulations.

Daily protocol.

2009-01-04T20:13:00.003+08:00

Days past and I've still didn't went home early and Dad will be shouting at my ears. But who cares. At least I'm home already, and it's not my fault that I've got no keys to open the door. The bottom line: curfew at 8. Sucky, I know, but I'm rebelling.

April intake, it is. It's days to performance. January starts off like hell already.

I've got myself a job teaching a Primary 2 pupil. Maths. And I never thought maths is that interesting. And I'll work double so I can school again. Yay!

And can't they make it more obvious? Sheesh. People fall in
love now as if it's a new fetish of 2009. Not that I'm jealous or what. Okay
fine, jealous. But only 45%. Not more. I'm lazy to fall in love. That's all.
*maniacal laughter*

FEED ON THIS SHIT, BITCH!

2009-01-02T20:16:00.001+08:00

Wrecked. Again.

2009-01-01T04:45:00.003+08:00

I messed up for the 5734897th time. Went new year with the fellow crewmates. Thought they were staying up late until the first train, but they decided to go home instead. I so-called have this bitch fits with Hadi awhile. When suddenly Hazierah texted him, he has his superhuman moments. After that, met BFF at Esplanade river side to take my wax and proceed to Bukit Gombak to meet dearest Fauzan & Hazierah. This year's new year celebration started off like **** cause' of unforeseen circumstances. I can't believe I stay all the way up when there's practice later on.

Seriously pathetic: Hadi is actually afraid of the pontianak. Like that's something new. Afterall, that boy really is a big boy but he's afraid of a harmless being? Laugh all you want. But it's true. Anyway, I lied about that thing. (Right back at 'cha!)

"I never did promised you anything. But I just felt that I should at least be there for you. Eventhough you try to drift away from me. I tried hard enough to get near to you. But it seems as if you're the fire, I'm the ice. I also never did wanted to do that in the first place. Why must I disappoint you when the other two already did? It may seem so intentional, but I never did want you to be disappointed. Fine, I lied. I stopped. I didn't quit. I would not want you to help. I have to go through this alone, by myself in the center of my serenity. Until when must I depend on other people? I'm a failure. I'm everything that's bad. I'm everything, from screwing plans to losing trust and destroying love."

2008 just doesn't feel right. It sucked. But sweet memories will be etched in my mind. Both brains, left & right. I really really really hope 2009 will be a good year for all the ones I love. Family, Lepak Crew, 30T Crew, etc.,

Happy New Year to everyone, screw 2008 and usher 2009.
I'm so looking forward to change. Like pronto.

Down to 9 days guys. Let's give our best shot. Whatever it takes, we don't have to win. Just have fun.

TGIMWDL!

2008-12-27T22:17:00.004+08:00

Today was so damn boring that I actually went to Novena and the place is closed. But the deadline is today. On Monday, I so gotta' go Novena again. Plus, the course interview is on Monday. I freaking have to plan what to wear, what to say. I have to go to that course, pronto.

I have a story to tell. So, let's just call this person, Schmook. I went to Schmook's place to slack around since I have nowhere to go. I editted Schmook's blogskin and it took around 2 hours plus. I have not editted a blog that long, so it's kinda my record. What da hell?

Then we watched Wildchild. I was so effing laughing the whole time la. Okay tipu. Almost. I feel like washing dirty linen online. And yeah, you kay-pohs confirm wanna read right? Screw you guys lah. Haha!

There was this stick insect, who actually abhore modern hip-hop. Then there was this toad who said my lovely crew people can't dance. We could, only that we're not up to that standard just yet. Nope, not refering to people but just saying.

We're a closed book. Judging us by our cover, it just proves that your a chicken. Try opening (knowing) us cause' we really don't bitch around like some people (refering to those who bitch around, not those who doesn't bitch around. There's a difference.).

Alright dear readers, I'm just saying, not typed these out for the sake of posting. Gosh, I really have to stop washing dirty linen man. Tsk.

2 more days to course interview with Man.
3 more days to dance practice. I cannot wait!
4 more days to submitting the form.

Your life is full of:

Politics
Issues
Craps
Terms
& last but not least, Bullsh*ts. With a capital "B".

Oh dear, sorry for the sudden change of URL. Yay me, I've finally changed F&NA's skin. Seriously, so sorry. I know you're annoyed now. I'm so sorry. :(

Definitely on board (Part One)

2008-12-26T13:23:00.003+08:00

I love ya'll. Alot.

Digital Audio & Video Production. With Man. Sunday, meet Man. Monday, interview with Man. Tuesday, practice with Man. Wednesday, go to RP with Man. Thursday, practice with Man.

Gosh, I got weird hairstyle.

Sorry Jack, eyebag's back.

2008-12-23T15:20:00.002+08:00

Guess who's back with vengeance? Eyebags, with a free package of Sore Eyes.

After given the situation I'm in, I'm definitely better than them. But way more awesome than you.

In these streets./Nick Vujicic.

2008-12-20T14:20:00.008+08:00

Dysfunctional. Loved. Adored. Passion. Crazy. Terrifying. Awesome. Burlesque. Popping. Lock. Jumpstyle. Shuffle. Tecktonic. Amaranthine passion.

These are some words that can describe you guys. Okay, enough of 30T, not that they paid to write for them afterall. Haha! joking.

Currently...

Ecstatic to meet the others (Ilah, Yati, Aina etc.,) because it's so-called our reunion. But Fariz has this event at Youth Park and most probably we are all going. Before all that, I'm going to Halim's party with someone who doesn't know how to pronounce "photoshoot".

Siti, I hope you come alright? Because there's this dick-head who went to OUR reunion without OUR permission. He's so screwed.

Quote of the day: Love is unfair. What you give is not proportion to what you get.

He's been on my mind for quite sometime, that he deserves a tribute. Yes, he ain't got no limbs. But the way he do things are so fascinating, it's like a cow jumped over the moon. Not to be rude or what, people like this captures my heart & soul. He's unique in his own way. So are we. Only he's more special in a way. Sorry girls, he might have the looks but he's taken. *smile*

Psst! Go create your blog post for special people like him! :)

Freakshow de Cirque.

2008-12-19T17:47:00.002+08:00

Make-up: $40+
Hair: $10+
Photographer bill: free
Refreshments: None
Additional clothes: free
Venue: Bedok Reservoir Park
Time: 10pm - 11pm
Admission fee: Priceless

That was 30T's photoshoot for circus. It was late at night and they've been pestering me whether they go back soon. What the hell, the next day is the N level results.

Please people, the venue & time for this circus has erm, finished. You missed the show. But alas! There'll be more from us coming soon.

P.s.: I know what you are, dude. ;)

"N".

2008-12-18T15:58:00.002+08:00

Effing 3 points. Here's the results:

English Language Syll T - A
Mathematics Syll T - D (omgomg! I thought it was a U!)
Science Syll T - A
Computer Applications - A
Elements of Office Admin - A
Malay - C

Was effing unbelievable, but was grateful too. Finally, here comes 2009.

I want *Calamaris.

2008-12-16T23:30:00.000+08:00

* deep-fried squids

DAMMIT! Hey asshole, I don't know whether you read this or not. Who cares. Practically some of us know your dirty tricks. C'mon la, meeting your cousin? More like glimpsing your ex aka my BFF. It's a small world dude. Live it. Lying just keeps on getting worse. And now, it's hard to trust you now.

Blockbuster.

2008-12-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

Watched Twilight with girlfriend, Siti since Hakim and the rest MIA. Morbid. Scary. Adorable. Sexy. Romantic. Touching. Legendary. James pressed Bella's knee. Resulting in a broken knee cap. James pushed Edward's head against the mirror. Edward sucked the venom out of Bella's wrist. And most-probably a happy ending. 'Cause one of the evil vamps didn't die.

The question: Would you like to live forever?
The much awaited answer: (without thinking) Never.

Most nights, I don't sleep on my bed.

2008-12-12T13:10:00.003+08:00

It's funny how things you once have, gone missing and then after you found it, it's lost. Most probably forever, or maybe a short while. You'll never find those again. Unless you're lucky enough to grab hold of even the teeny-tiny piece, you'll never go berserk again.

For these few nights, I've been thinking about some stuff I should worry about (i.e. the highlighted hair which have not been sprayed black) Luckily, Fadzillah thought she won't be spraying hers too. Sayang ah lu girl!

BFF and I have been very busy with our daily double life (e.g. amaranthine dance practices, family feuds, misunderstanding etc.,) but rest assured, we'll meet, one day. Even for a glance.

So this slot, is all yours.

And for darling Nad, have a save trip to Batam. While I'm typing this, she's probably in the taxi going to Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal or World Trade Center.

Note-worthy: "I miss you too. But no worries, things are still the same." -BFF.

Ringleader, call the shots.

2008-12-09T14:47:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to the photoshoot. Oh, I'm the ol' Ringleader. Circus, the rush of adrenaline through the veins. Why doesn't Singapore has these kind of entertainment?

Those taking N Levels: Results on 18 December. Damn, but spray my highlights black sia. Tsk.

Burgundy to Dark Brown to Blonde Streak.

2008-11-24T23:54:00.001+08:00

Lovely hairstylist Fadh highlighted my hair today. I totally fell in love with my gorgeous locks. But I wanna cut the sideburns, as in, trim but he said it's so sayang (wasted in malay). I feel irrtated with long hair. What does he know? Practically, the way he highlights my hair and Pul's, unique and professional. Suruh amek hairstyling tak nak. *laughs*

Pathetic fallacy: How I wish I got shorter trim hair. I feel normal that way. But what the hell, normalcy's a bitch. People don't see it your way. Dammit lah. Anyway Fadh, thanks for dying my hair for me. It reminds me of someone. Peace.

5 more days 'till you guys are there.
Oh, I can't wait.

Little Miss Indulgent & Mr. Use-whoever-I'm-near-with.

2008-11-23T03:07:00.000+08:00

Ah, malas aku nak layan kawan macam gini. Kawan kau kate? Lawan ade la. Kalau kau rase aku ni kawan kau, you would protect me instead of washing dirty linen online. Great, now people online knows Rad's a destroyer of friendships. Best tau.

Fast forward, I'm lazy to put details. Just not worth the effing space here. Anyways, I miss my crazy classmates. Ye, aku paling slow. At times ah. 29 Nov, I can't wait.

Officially 6 days to Penawar Rindu Reunion.

Paranoia & Misfortunes.

2008-11-22T09:47:00.001+08:00

The pit was awesome despite the little bitch fight earlier on, someone owe someone moolas, A waiting for B to drink but B went to hallucination. Above is the picture that I like for that day. We played games as well; The Brainwash Game, Sea Animals, Chop-chilli-chop & Land Animals. After that, El, Val, Pul & Me reminisce our old-fashioned, frustrating and friggin funny game, Number Game. (hooray, everyone?)

Who's there: Nurul, Ilah, Yati, El, Pul, Rad, Aina, Farah, Afa, Val & Fadh

Army of Skanks Reunion? More like it. We all meet full-house only once a year.

Author's note: I was super stoning when I'm typing this. I was so sleepy that my eyelids are dropping. Luckily I didn't put the mug faces when we're high. That one, people will see. Snore...

Procrastinator machine.

2008-11-16T23:52:00.002+08:00

Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update. Lazy to update.

I swear. I'm still at Hanie's chalet, nothing to do. Played games with Radia (her sister) like many many times. Can work out together.